Another gem of a night!!!

I am too lazy to retype my nights recap so here is a copy of my seemingly nightly PM to fruitypro as I ask for his help to get me back on track:

More misery...

First of all, the totals: Down $900 since 2/6. In the 15 days since then that I have played I am up only 6 of them. Today is my low point with a 3 buy loss in about 2 hours of play (and that includes the one table I won $215 on). My session winning % for the month is well under 40%.

I lost big pots on the following hands:

Hand 1: I had TT, villain JJ. He raises preflop and I 3 bet in pos., he calls. Flop comes 8 high rainbow. He checks and I c-bet. He shoves for about $40 more. He is 78/30 and is as bad as anybody I have ever seen. I call.

Hand 2: I have QQ, CO (no reads) has KTs, and BB (55/22) has AA. CO limps preflop, I raise in pos, BB 3 bets me min, CO calls, I 4 bet. BB shoves for $24 more, CO shoves for about $7 on top of that. I thought and thought and thought and decided to call because the pot was too big to walk away from.

Hand 3: I have KK, villain QQ....all in on the flop for a $300 pot. Turn: Q, River: Q

Hand 4: I have KK, villain QQ....all in on the flop for a $300 pot. Flop had a Q.

I did misplay a hand this afternoon with JT that cost me about $60. I knew I should not have done it the second I made the move.

Just as last night I stayed quite calm. I am not upset at all. I am not beating myself up and have taken it in stride. I am very impressed and super happy with how I am carrying myself and with my mental state right now. It is awesome that I am proving to myself that I can control my emotions and thought processes.

I am, however, quite worried about my run. At this point my confidence is shot to shit. My roll is only $1800 (rakeaid, where the fuck is my money????????). I feel like I have played very well the last two days over all. I have had a few slips but that is what sperates the amatures from the pros, right? I know my mistakes, have reviewed them and am working on fixing them. But mostly I feel kinda lost. I am going through the motions but something is missing. I am not sure what to do here. I guess I will keep at it and pray to God that I can get back to being at least a break even player before I have to move down. As it is I should not really be playing $100nl with only 18 buys. I would not be if I did not have $1300 in rakeback coming as soon as rakeaid gets their shit in order. But one more 3 buy down swing and I am back at the $50 tables...yuck.